Mrs Groovy

I’m not sure when but hopefully soon.

Good-bye for now Mrs Groovy. I am keeping the name but not the hosting. I’m so thankful for those years of blogging starting way back on diaryland and then to my own domain, itsjustme.org. But for now it just isnt part of my life anymore. I do so miss it but its gone for now… maybe someday I’ll change my mind. Until then…..

The kids and I went skating with my MIL tonight. We’ve gone with her probably four times now. The kids are getting better each time. My son found a new “best friend” tonight. We exchanged numbers.

We’re going to the inlaws house for dinner tomorrow night. I hope its a nice visit and everyone enjoys themselves. Words and some other words and stuff….

We are planning to take my Mom out to dinner on Friday… its the 20th anniversary of my father’s death but we just pretend we’re celebrating valentines day. Its nice that none of us (mom or I) are alone around valentines day… just makes it a little easier.

Other stuff too but not now… I wish now.

Not to give up.

When I am feeling overwhelmed at night I go out back and stand on the kid’s picnic table and look at the lights down the road from the city. Nearby our neighborhood is a highway, highway 20-26 which I drive frequently but rarely at night. The lights flying down the road seem like lights of life driving to their destination. I watch the cars turn off the highway and into the neighborhoods surrounding us. I imagine them coming home from work or possibly going to work. My thoughts go back to working nights in a cookie factory for 9 long years. The flash of light from the storage building across the highway flash and remind me the city is close but yet so far away. I am reminded of driving from downtown Salem, Oregon to our little town in Stayton, driving from my job at Hallmark to my parent’s house, the cars whooshing by me. Stayton, the town where my life changed. The sounds of the cars whooshing by sound frantic but yet calming even now as I am again in the present time.

I’m living in the past again, I do it so often now. Every time I drive to Boise, I’m young again and my Dad is still here and I smile. I see the images of my Mom so much younger… I don’t want to grow up. Age has never been my issue but as I near the big 4-0 I begin to reflect and I’m not liking what I see.

You can say if I could go back in time and do it again I’d do it all the same. I wouldnt want to do it the same but if I didnt I wouldnt have them…. and they are what I live for.