Sabotage

My husband eats almost every night, right before bed. Tonight being no different, he comes in after midnight eating and asking if I wanted some. I declined. Little bit later I go into the kitchen to get the dog his meds. My husband rushes into the kitchen,says, “you’re not gonna eat something better now are you?”
No, I’m just getting the dog his meds. Then I said, hey since you know I don’t eat that late could you not bring food into my room or offer me food?
He says,”its just cause we ate so early.”
I’m like, no we ate at our normal time, regardless you do it all the time. It makes it hard for me.
“well then you should talk me out of it every night.”
Nope, you’re a grown adult. You need to control that yourself. I’m not going to try to talk you out of eating and then you’ll eat anyway.
“well, then the same thing goes for you. You’re an adult so you control yourself when I eat.”
No, not the same thing and I do control myself.

He is so annoying. He has relapsed a couple of times and always finds a way to blame the “bad” person that he’s friends with. “Well, they brought it over and I couldn’t help myself. If they were good friends they wouldn’t have tempted me.”

Same deal goes for me with food. You tempt me at every freaking turn, but I am stronger and don’t just give in. I currently have two snickers, a Hershey bar and a ding dong in my desk drawer all from him. “I got this for youuuu…” It was three snickers but I gave in one night…I have weaknesses too.

He should have said, “you’re right. I’ll try not to offer you food late at night anymore.” Easy as that.

Memorial day?!

Call to social security today. It went to processing last Friday, so if everything is in order it will get paid out but if you haven’t gotten it by memorial day, call us again. We can’t do anything until its been in processing for 60 days. I heard it myself on the speaker phone and wanted to crawl into a corner. No way can I handle this house for two more months.

Am I mean?

Last night out of nowhere my husband goes over to my treadmill. He’s trying to figure out how to turn it on. After a bit he asks how it starts up, I tell him where the button is to turn it on, then show him how to get it started and turn it up. At first I was kind of upset, because I know it will become a competition of some type. But then I thought no, good for him. If he looses some weight and gets a little healthier then that’s great. After he was done. He said he wanted to do it longer but his knee hurt. I told him it didn’t matter because every little bit counted. He said he wanted to get up to speed with me so we could go for walks together.

Really? After 29 years of me asking to go for walks, now you want to walk with me? Oddly enough, I’m also walking with my daughter. My son likes to go walking as well. A person would think, cool a family activity that includes everyone. No, no one really wants to share me with any others, or really wants to walk with the other people. So, there’s that.

Today I asked him to call and get his medical expenses, even though I had asked him last week and left him a note yesterday. The topic of myself and my son having found a new doctor came up. He asked when we had found a new doctor, “because we don’t talk… we don’t talk.” I didn’t reply but then almost instantly felt bad. I try to talk myself out of this by reminding myself he sits in his room for hours upon hours watching tv. He doesn’t ask questions and he’s never given a crap before, so is it my fault. No, but I can’t help but feel badly for excluding him.