My Parents

Mom – August 1, 1935 – April 21, 2017.

My bestest … everything.  She was my  personal cheerleader. She thought I was an angel, her angel. I could do no wrong… well except for picking my husband and babying my children and having too many dogs and….

My mom was my partner in crime. We were Cagney and Lacey… She could read my face and I could read her mind. I knew what she was thinking without her ever having to say a word. My greatest honor in life was being my mom’s friend, my mom’s buddy, my mom’s go to person… my mom’s caretaker and the person my mom wanted most by her side as she died.

I miss my mom like crazy. I miss her happy face when she saw me. I miss her giggle. I miss shopping with her. I miss so many things about my mom I just can’t even express them all.

My dad – July 14, 1929 – Feb 12, 1990

My dad was my hero and I was daddy’s girl. I was only 19 when my father died. It was unexpected but it shouldn’t have been. He lived a tough life growing up and it had been hard on his body. I remember the night I got the call, I remember what was on tv “Alien Nation”. When the phone rang, I knew in my heart it was not going to be a good call.

My dad was always old but he was so warm and snuggly. I always wanted my dad when I was hurt, sad or lonely. Until I got older, then I just saw him as old. To be fair, he also got grumpy and cranky. He physically hurt, he was broken by the world and he just didn’t have the fight left in him. I was in such a hurry to grow up and leave them… then he left me.

For probably 10-15 years I beat myself up for the way I treated my father before he died. I had called once to talk to my mom, I lived in another state… my dad answered and I didn’t want to talk so I hung up. The last Christmas before my dad died, everyone was going to my brothers. My dad asked me to come, I said no. My dad died 2 months later. I couldn’t forgive myself for that for years.

It’s been almost 30 years now, and although I have forgiven myself I still feel bad about being selfish. I miss my dad a lot… but I have been without him in my life more than I had him in my life.