Am I mean?

Last night out of nowhere my husband goes over to my treadmill. He’s trying to figure out how to turn it on. After a bit he asks how it starts up, I tell him where the button is to turn it on, then show him how to get it started and turn it up. At first I was kind of upset, because I know it will become a competition of some type. But then I thought no, good for him. If he looses some weight and gets a little healthier then that’s great. After he was done. He said he wanted to do it longer but his knee hurt. I told him it didn’t matter because every little bit counted. He said he wanted to get up to speed with me so we could go for walks together.

Really? After 29 years of me asking to go for walks, now you want to walk with me? Oddly enough, I’m also walking with my daughter. My son likes to go walking as well. A person would think, cool a family activity that includes everyone. No, no one really wants to share me with any others, or really wants to walk with the other people. So, there’s that.

Today I asked him to call and get his medical expenses, even though I had asked him last week and left him a note yesterday. The topic of myself and my son having found a new doctor came up. He asked when we had found a new doctor, “because we don’t talk… we don’t talk.” I didn’t reply but then almost instantly felt bad. I try to talk myself out of this by reminding myself he sits in his room for hours upon hours watching tv. He doesn’t ask questions and he’s never given a crap before, so is it my fault. No, but I can’t help but feel badly for excluding him.