Packing it up

My garage has been full of my mother stuff since May. Everyone wanted to just donate all her things. I knew my mother would absolutely hate that, so I had it all brought to my house. We all met at my mom’s house on Friday, before her memorial and had a meal together. Everyone played cards and acted as if it was a normal family get together. It was absolutely bizarre. On Saturday we had her memorial, then everyone played cards again, just as if it was a normal thing. Then suddenly it was time to pack up and bring everything to my house. We filled my garage within minutes.

For the next several weeks, it was far too hot to get into the boxes and things. I tried, I managed to bring in some furniture I wanted to keep. I managed to rearrange my room with my mother’s furniture in it. It looked so nice with her things in there, I just wished she was in there to see it and use it. A couple of times over the summer on cooler days I was able to organized stuff a bit, then slowly set up tables, start pricing things and eventually in Sept when it finally cooled down. I had a garage sale. On Friday my husband spent most of the day in the garage. Not that he did so without making comments. Saturday and Sunday, I did it pretty much on my own. My daughter tried to help me out on Saturday but the dog wouldn’t stop barking so I told her to go inside because it would calm the dogs.

I waited a couple of weeks and then I reset it up with more things and did the garage sale again. Friday both my husband and I worked the sale. Me, more so than him… he hurts. Saturday morning came and it was rainy and I was sad, tired and didn’t sleep well. I put a sign outside and called it a day. Today, Sunday I spent a great portion of the day packing things up. Some things will be donated and some things will be put in the shed to do a garage sale again, next summer.  I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do or not but I know my mom wouldn’t just want me to give her things away. She worked hard all her life for her things. How could I just give them away? Plus every dime helps me support my family.

I hope to have the garage cleaned out enough that we could possibly put two cars in there. I’d love for my new car to be in there but I’d also like the rodeo in there too. It would look much nicer. I feel bad about my mom’s van sitting outside in the weather, but what can I do?

So tonight, I’m tired, sore and beyond sad. I miss my mom so very much. I just want to hold her hand, talk to her, just be with her. It truly boggles my mind that I am expected to go on as if everything was normal. Nothing will ever be normal again and I will miss her forever.