Hole

My mom was such a huge part of my life and I’ve got this giant hole. I see her sweet smiling face in my profile photo and I want to call her or go to her house to see her. Then I remember I can’t. I turned off her phone today and canceled her car insurance. I feel like I’m going through the motions of living but I’m dying. I bought my son slacks and a nice purple button up for him to wear to her memorial. He looks so handsome, my mom would love it. I also got a pretty flowered shirt for myself, she’d love it as well. We’re not wearing all black, she’d rather have pastels. I can’t even think of her without my chest hurting. I just want her back….