I can’t, I just can’t. The pain is so intense. She was my very best friend. I had lost her, the real her a couple of years ago but losing all of her is killing me. I just want to go to her house and see her sitting there and being so happy to see me. My siblings hurt and I don’t want to take that away from them but they don’t, they cant hurt the same as I hurt. She was part of me, she became my child. I lived for her. I know I’ve got my kids, my husband and my dogs but I feel like I’ve got nothing left.