Mrs Groovy

about the private entry. I’m having a really bad day and just didn’t want to share it, but had to get some of it out. You know if its only 7:30am and I’m already having a bad day, it’ll probably get worse before it gets better.

• You know you live where its cold when you say, “hey its 23 degrees today, that’s not very cold.”
• 2.5 miles this week, 3 by the end of the week you think?Yesterday my internet was down off and on all day.
• I thought I’d lose my mind, not because I had major stuff to do but because I wanted to check my bank account to see if my tax return was there.
• Talk about major disappointment when come 7pm I finally found out it was not.
• My husband is without a DM again and the scheduled visit from the RM which was to happen today, is not happening.
• I personally like when he has no DM because then he can work whatever the hell he wants.
• He has this weekend off.
• How come when you find something you really like they discontinue it? (Cinnamon trident, American Girl Stories collection hardback)
• I bought new gold satin sheets and they are awesome. Although now my bed doesn’t stay made and Louie is funny as hell when he slides all the way across and falls off.
• Now I need a new comforter.
• We’re having left overs for dinner tonight. Meatloaf, potato soup, Chinese food and probably a kids cuisine for my son.
• As soon as my tax money comes I am buying enough paint for the entire house and I am starting to paint.
• I need to start planning my son’s 7th birthday party. Its going to be a big party with games, prizes and tons of kids. (I hope!)
• I need to get the kid’s birthday presents bought as soon as my tax money comes. (wii, new bike without training wheels, sims seasons expansion pack, American Girl box of 6 softback stories collections, summer clothes)
• I need to shower and go get my son.

Making the DVD movie for my in-laws was hard on both my husband and I. He had to relive things from his past that weren’t his choosing. Missing pictures from photo albums that his half-sisters stole from him and his father. I understand why they took those photos, my husband’s father is the only real father they ever had, they wanted to remember him. Seeing pictures of my husband’s younger step-sister reaping all the benefits of having a mother in the house is hard since he never had one.

For me, looking at my children growing up with their grandparents and seeing one less grandparent. It was hard for me to watch this video over and over again for about two weeks with not one picture of my father in it. Which I know it wasn’t about my family, but still…. it was difficult.

We got the video in the mail today. I didn’t bother buying a photo/DVD editing program and instead just uploaded the pictures and music to shutterfly. My husband and I put the DVD into our player in our room. It was beautiful but we wanted to see it on the bigger TV. As soon as I put the movie in and the music started both kids popped out from where they were to watch. They too have spent hours picking out pictures with me and previewing the DVD with me.

I told my husband that when the movie is put into the machine at their party I will have to walk away. I’ll have to pick that moment to go smoke or something, because if I stand there and watch it with them, I’ll cry…. and I already think I might make my FIL cry… and I couldn’t handle that. Making this DVD for them has been a healing experience for both my husband and I.

This movie is so good, so touching I think I may have scored the “BestestDaughterInLawInTheWholeWorld” award! And honestly I totally deserve it.

I’ve been going through pictures for the past two weeks to make a DVD for my husband’s parent’s 25th anniversary. It brings back so many memories.

The hardest part is when I come to the pictures of all the family at my father’s funeral. His pictures just end there. There are no more pictures of my Dad.

I see pictures of my husband’s father with my children and its so hard not to be angry that its not my father. I love my husband’s father, I really really do but I so wish my Dad could have been the one to see them.

I looked through so many photo albums and the pictures of my dad just end that day… there are no others.

It never gets easier, who ever started that saying is just full of shit. Sometimes you just don’t think about what you are missing, but it never gets easier.

Can someone just come over and sit in my house for about an hour? I don’t want to have to wake the boy to take the girl, then I want to walk. He probably won’t even wake up… so just come sit in my house and watch TV or something in case he does wake up. K?

I could call my Mom, but now that she works that would just throw her schedule off. I could call the inlaws but by the time they got here it’d be too late anyway. Plus I don’t want them in the house right now since I have about 7 of their stolen photo albums sitting on my bedroom floor.

So yeah… just an hour please.